Vivid February 2005

Regulars
MANAGEMENT AND PRODUCTIVITY
Ten vitally important reasons for possessing and using good manners

by Basil Carter
February 2005

1- It requires no more energy to use good manners than it does to use bad manners.

• A person who understands good manners, uses good manners, and appreciates good manners, understands that it requires the same level of attention and energy to use them as it does to use bad manners. However a person feels better for using good manners. So use good manners and feel better about yourself.

2- It is a part of dressing well.

• It has been stated many times, incorrectly, that clothes makes the person. Put another way it is often said that you can ''dress for success''. Well, maybe. But clothes are something that you put on and wear for an occasion. Good manners are with you every day, at all times, and consequently are not a costume. Good manners should be part of a person. Using good manners sets an example.

3- You will attract other people.

• The use of good manners is not a popularity contest. Members of the film community win the popularity contest while many of them demonstrate manners that would repel pigs. I dislike this comparison as I like and respect pigs. It is true that other people appreciate good manners and will be attracted to a person demonstrating good manners. Manners, grace, and pleasantness will be appreciated by everyone who comes into contact with such a person who demonstrates these traits. Merely because a person can do something rude is no license to actually being rude.

4- It is civilised to use good manners.

• Civilisation, the community of all people living together, and most times living in close proximity to one another. To treat other people in the same fashion that one would like to be treated. The rational man having a discussion with another rational man. Probably a pipe dream when you see all the clods that surround us every day. So try not to be one of the clods, try respecting the other person, and try good manners. Be civilised!

5- Good manners do not embarrass a person.

• When using good manners a person is never embarrassed. A person using bad manners can become a figure of derision or ridicule. A person being rude or crude is a person remembered for all of the wrong reasons. Just look at your average American.

6- Good manners are fun.

• Good manners are fun and enjoyable. This may not seem like a major achievement but try using good manners, instead of bad manners, and you will find the process enjoyable. Having and using good manners will brighten your day.

7- It differentiates the individual.
• There are so many examples of bad manners and so many examples of adult people exhibiting bad manners it is refreshing to meet and see an individual who possess good manners. A person who has good manners these days is different and is recognised as being different. In the past a person was noticed if they had bad manners. Today a person is recognised if they have good manners. Be different, be recognised, and stand out.

8- Good manners give a person confidence.

• Knowing what to do, and what not to do, in all situations gives a person confidence. Such confidence generally shows. A person who uses good manners generally has poise and recognisable confidence. Good manners are not part of an act, they are part of how an individual interacts with other people.

9- Important at job interviews.

• Your body language, your style, and your confidence are very important assets when trying to make a good impression at a job interview. Part of possessing good body language, and good style, is knowing what to do, and what not to do in an interview or social situation. Put another way this is called having good manners. It could also happen, very easily, that as part of your job interview you are invited to a lunch or a dinner as the employers may want to see the potential employee in a social setting. Most people should know not to place their knife in their mouth but many can be seen making this blunder. Yet good manners are much more complex than eliminating this apparently obvious gaffe. Exhibiting bad manners at an interview seems to me to be a career limiting move. When it is important to put your best foot forward ensure that you do not boot the opportunity by coming across as an unmannered lout!

10- Women like men who have good manners.

• Unless the lady you have taken out on a date is a Neanderthal she will appreciate good manners. It can reasonably be expected that she knows more about good manners than her escort even though I expect that she has rarely seen good manners. Men are generally such self-centred egoists that they believe that good manners are beneath them. So the choice is simple. Date a Neanderthal and you eat with your fingers and be a boor, as it will not matter. Or date a woman with poise, sophistication, style, and who recognises good manners. To achieve an impression with a lady a man must be a gentleman. Gentlemen possess good manners. You attract more bees with honey than vinegar. Therefore if you are trying to impress a lady, and want additional contact, act with manners. She will appreciate such gestures and might make the mistake of thinking that you are a gentleman and not a clod.

Good luck!

Basil Carter (bcarter@productivitynetwork.com) is an author, CEO and specialist in the economies of Eastern Europe