I had heard about your giving up the glamorous life of a movie star mom to live in poverty in Romania. No offence, but you seem to be living pretty well.
Foreigners seem to want to hear about how hard life is here, but of course for expats it's not. I 'gave up' a pretty ordinary life in New York for an extraordinary adventure in Romania. It's true that when I got here as a Peace Corps volunteer in 2000 I lived without hot water in a two-room block apartment infested with mosquitoes and strategically situated above the community garbage bin with an entrance that opened onto the back side of the fish market. Between the mosquitoes, the rats and the drunken vendors sleeping in the alley, it was definitely my Hazing Period, but thank God, my landlady kicked me out - ostensibly because the Peace Corps was late with the rent. Living conditions got progressively better after that. But, as fate would have it, that's where I met Alex.

Who's Alex?
The little kid who led me to my life's work. After I'd been in Bacau for about a month this barefoot boy who looked about 5 years old set up his begging operation in the middle of a busy intersection right under my balcony. In my naïveté and enthusiasm, I took him to a children's shelter run by the organisation I was assigned to. Three days later his mother showed up cursing me for stealing her family's primary breadwinner. The next thing I knew I was starting a work-training project for the mothers of kids like Alex called 'Ready, Willing & Able' (Gata, Dispus si Capabil) and an education programme for the children. (It turned out that Alex was 8 and had never seen the inside of a school.)

You work in three Roma communities around Bacau, each with about 250 people. What kind of conditions do they live in?
Technically, they're not 'Roma' communities. The residents are largely 'of Roma descent' but they don't wear colourful pleated skirts, they don't speak the Romani language and they don't check 'Roma' on census forms. But they are all extremely impoverished and ethnic Romanians consider them 'Gypsies'.

One USAID director who was here said that the conditions were as bad as anything she'd seen in Africa - only ''in Africa snow never drifts in through the roof.'' Generally speaking the people we work with have no running water, no toilet facilities - and I mean none - mud walls, dirt floors and patchwork rooves. It's not unusual for ten people to be living in a 3x5 metre room.

I guess it's difficult to imagine unless one sees it for oneself.
It's almost impossible to imagine that large numbers of people really live like that in a European country. What was your reaction when you visited our neighbourhoods?

I felt a number of things: shame because, after ten years here, maybe one becomes hardened to squalor; relief, because there are people like you to help. What are some of the ways that you help them?
We don't 'help' them so much as offer them opportunities to help themselves. We encourage parents to send their children to school and when they give reasons why they 'can't', we say, ''OK, here are some shoes for the kids'', or ''Here are school supplies''. We help them get IDs and vaccinations; we help get the school to add another kindergarten class when they are told, ''Sorry, we're full, come back next year.î And we give the kids a nutritious lunch, partly because they desperately need it and partly as motivation.

Most importantly, our staff shows respect. We assume people want to improve the conditions in which they live and their children's future prospects. And they do! This programme is called Gata, Dispus si Capabil because it attracts people who are in fact 'ready, willing and able' to improve their lives.

What are some of your major achievements in that regard?
There are over sixty women in Bacau today who as a result of the program are holding legal jobs and are eligible for full job benefits. With an average of a 6th grade education, this is no small feat in a country where you are supposed to have a high school diploma to be a waitress and a tenth grade certificate to work in a factory. As a result of the children's programme there are also over 200 children living in desperate circumstances who are now attending school, getting one decent meal a day, vitamins and vaccinations.

What is the attitude of Bacau's municipal authorities to what you are doing? Are they cooperative, and are they supportive?
Initially they were cooperative but dubious. But over time, as they have seen the women working and the kids in school, they have become very supportive.

What about the wider Bacau community?
The local media has made enormous strides in reporting the good things happening in these neighbourhoods, not just the bad ones. And God bless them, without

our even directly asking they changed their references from 'tigani' to 'Romi'.

And what about the Roma people themselves?
Sometimes they get frustrated that we're not doing more. When you try to help people you always run the risk of making them dependent and of their developing a false sense of entitlement. They are entitled to more public services but they're not entitled to sit around and expect somebody else to ''give them their rights''. It's very important to empower people without creating dependency, but doing it successfully is more complex than brain surgery. I would like to think that Eastern European countries could benefit from the monumental mistakes we made in the West in delivering social services and thereby set up a better system.

How do you counter the general attitude of Romanians, which is that Roma do not want to work and do not want to become involved in the community?
I grew up in Texas in the 1950s and 60s and where I came from, a lot of otherwise well educated people sincerely believed that black people and Mexicans were lazy, stupid, dirty and dishonest. They did not understand the connection between a lack of education and opportunity and deeply entrenched poverty. Thanks to leaders like Martin Luther King and our civil rights movement, today most people, even in Texas, do not see the issue as that black and white. I have hopes that Romanians, who are generally savvier than Texans, won't take so long to understand the subtleties of the problems and to support solutions that will improve the lives of everyone in this country. It's no fun being robbed, but people who are educated and can get decent jobs (regardless of their skin colour) tend not to rob people.

Your son has said that your activities seem to him to stem from ''pure and simple idolatry of Eleanor Roosevelt carried to an extreme''. Is that true?
In a way, yes. But I'm no bleeding heart liberal. I'm very pragmatic. For some reason I feel called to try and help people who - if they had had the same chances in life that I have had - would not be living in subhuman conditions. It's the loss of human potential that I find so tragic about places like the ones you visited with me in Bacau.

Have you picked up any new heroes in Romania?
As a matter of fact, yes. The first is Michael Guest, the former US ambassador to Romania. He makes me proud to be an American - at a time when that's sometimes a stretch - because he embodies what is best about Americans: honesty, openness, a positive attitude and very high standards. Another hero of mine is my colleague Marina Gheorghiu. She represents the best of the new generation of adult Romanians - real commitment to making this country a better place to live. Marina is very smart and capable and could so easily be successful in the West. But she has chosen to be here and to work on difficult social problems. Most Romanians' biggest liability is that they underestimate how much power they have to change things. A journalist once asked me, ''So what exactly do you think you have to offer these ëpoor Romanians'?'' I answered, ''Just my American can-do spirit.'' I am good at getting things done because I have confidence that what I am trying to do is important, and that when other people see that, they'll want to help. And invariably a lot of people do.

Some of our readers may be wondering, ''At the end of the day, don't you miss hanging out with the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Uma Thurman?''
One dinner with Quentin Tarantino goes a long way. And as you probably know, my access to Uma Thurman has recently been severely diminished.

I wasn't going to ask, but since you mention it, what about that 'messy' divorce? Is it true that your son cheated on arguably 'the most beautiful woman in the world'?
How should I know? When was the last time you talked to your mother about your sex life? I find it ironic that their divorce got so much attention in the press. They managed to keep their marriage quite private and Ethan is one of the most conscientious people I've ever known - so it's funny that he was portrayed as a rotten cad. It makes one wary of anything one reads in the press. No offence.

What do you really think of Uma?
I am delighted that she is the mother of my grandchildren. Uma is one of the best cooks and most gracious hostesses in the whole world and I will be very sad if I am not invited to Thanksgiving dinner.

She was great in Pulp Fiction but Thanksgiving notwithstanding, it sounds like you've made your life in Romania. What's next?
Ovidiu Rom, the NGO Marina Gheorghiu and I set up to help people of Roma descent work their way out of poverty, has just started an exciting pilot project in Bucharest with an excellent children's charity, Sfantul Stelian, in Sector 5. USAID's GRASP programme (Governance Reform and Sustainable Partnerships) in collaboration with the Ministry of Labour, Social Solidarity and Family, other government agencies, and private corporations are working with us. Our goal is to design a vastly more integrated approach for improving living standards and educational and employment opportunities for marginalised families than the previous fragmented system of social service delivery allowed.

Is Ethan involved and if so, in what way? Has he been to Romania?
Ethan's been here twice and he supports our work generously. We are very lucky to have him as a kind of organisational safety-net. For instance, if a grant is late arriving, I can ask him for a loan and the staff doesn't have to go without their salaries and there's no hiatus in the programme. That's a luxury that most Romanian NGOs don't have. But then Romanian NGOs tend to be too passive for their own good. When funders don't make payments on schedule they should be subject to interest penalties. A more unified NGO community could influence funders in ways that would benefit the whole sector. But NGOs tend to put a lot more effort into competing than in working together for our common good.

As long as I'm being so opinionated, there's something else I'd like to comment on. One hears a lot about 'abandoned children' in Romania and it really rankles me! Poor women in Romania do not 'abandon' their children; they give them up with great anguish because they are destitute. That is an entirely different problem, requiring different solutions. International adoption doesn't solve it, but neither does closing institutions and forcing babies and their mothers to live in squalor or on the street. People do not give up children that are planned. Sometimes in discussions about international adoption, I get the feeling that everyone has forgotten where babies come from. The Romanian government, NGOs and foreign spokespersons should spend more airtime and resources helping people avoid having children they can't adequately care for and less on arguing about something that is essentially peripheral.

So, what happened to Alex?
Alex lives around the corner in a group home for former street kids. I've lost track of his mother and I think he has too - not because she abandoned him, but because he abandoned her. He starts the fourth grade this autumn. In May we had a big celebration for Ready, Willing & Able's third anniversary where we honoured 63 women who have gotten and kept jobs through our programme. Alex performed at the event as part of our singing group, Zmeoris, (The Raspberries). There was a new kid in the group, a shy 5-year-old son of one of our graduating mothers. Alex took it upon himself to hold the little boy's hand on stage and help him with the dance steps. When you see something like that and know you had a small part in getting a barefoot, lice-ridden kid off the street and to this level of confidence and generosity, you feel like the most privileged person in the world.

Leslie Hawke can be contacted at hawke@mic.ro

Ethan Hawke and friends host event in New York to celebrate Romania

On Friday, 12th November, Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke will host an evening at New York's legendary Century Club to celebrate Romanian democracy-building achievements.

This benefit for the Gata, Dispus si Capabil (ìReady, Willing & Ableî) programmes for impoverished children and their families is being organised by The Alex Fund, a US charity. National Public Radio commentator and author Andrei Codrescu (The Hole in the Flag) and two-time Tony Award winner Brian Dennehy (FX, Death of a Salesman) will co-host. Dennehy will preside as auctioneer for Dinners with Famous Folks, a fabulous all expenses paid trip through Transylvania and Southern Bucovina, and other exotic live auction items.

A silent auction of fine Romanian jewellery, art and fashion will present some of Romania's most talented designers to New York society. Former Ambassador Michael Guest will be honored for his championship of democratic processes and his forceful stand against corruption during his tenure as ambassador to Romania (2001-2004).

Gata, Dispus si Capabil helps mothers of children who beg on the street to find and keep jobs and helps the children reintegrate in school and stay in school. It operates in Bucharest and Bacau. All proceeds from the event will be used to support the Gata, Dispus si Capabil programmes in Romania.

The evening of 12th November offers an opportunity to draw media attention (both Romanian and American) to the advancements in Romania that have been made in recent years toward the development of a truly democratic society.

Anyone wishing to sponsor or attend this event to help Romania's poorest children and their families should contact Leslie Hawke on 0723 222552 or at hawke@mic.ro, or through www.alexfund.org